Grief and accidents: a PSA

I officially lost my cousin today. Early morning on July 4th, he was admitted to the hospital after he flipped a 3-wheeler. He was not wearing a helmet. As a result, he was in critical condition for 9 days, with severe damage to multiple parts of his brain. Irreparable. The end result: he died today, at only 27 years old.

When grandparents or the elderly die, we can find comfort in statements like "at least they had a long, fulfilling life". But when the good die young? No. Not here. There is no false sense of comfort any of us can give ourselves that will help us get through these moments. The best we can do is try to remember the good times we've had with them, and to understand that the time we have is short and we need to make the most of it.

J was a sweet guy, always happy. The last time I remember seeing him angry was when he was a toddler, throwing a tantrum. The last time I saw him sad, was at my grandparents funerals. Otherwise, he was always smiles. Our very large family has always been close, but there was a block of us born within 6-8 years of each other, and that meant we grew up side-by-side, more like siblings than cousins. So when I say he was my cousin, I want you to understand that he was so much more to me (to all of us) than that, he was like a brother. Maybe then you can get the sense of just how large of a hole is in my heart right now. There is no trying to logic our ways through this tragedy. It hurts. And it sucks.

This life, while he touched many people and made a huge impact on any who crossed paths with him, had so much more warmth and love to share. It should not have been his time to go. It was senseless, stupid, and unnecessary. And it could have been prevented.

Despite what people say, recreational vehicles are not toys and they should be respected for what they are - fun, but dangerous. If you are going to ride, always understand the machine you are riding before you take it out for a joy ride. And always, ALWAYS wear a helmet. All of this could have been prevented had he been.

So reach out to those you care about. Tell them you love them, even if you are uncomfortable with it. Because you might not think it, but today may just be the last chance you get to let them know.

For you, J. With all my love.